neCESIda

imogen, ...god, you know, writing your name just now... well, it made me miss you so much. it made me miss jamaica and hugging you while the waves crashed over us. you hated those waves. at first, i mean. remember how we met? the scuba diving class? seeing you so scared, well i could have sworn you were the most gorgeous girl i'd ever seen. and i can't believe it's been four months since i've seen you. feels like forty years, each day without you kind of just crawls by. babe, i just wish i could hug you in those waves one more time, maybe twelfth grade wouldn't feel so lonely. i love you. -kirill. kirill, i love the way your name just

there was something about the way she moved. something terribly wrong. the way she clung onto the abrupt hem of her skirt, the way she clutched her notebook full of secrets, the way she caught her breath before she hit the floor. yes, something was wrong. he moved to grab at her hand, the same beautiful hand he had kissed when he finally professed his love. she fell limp, silent, looking at him with wild eyes. they screamed for help. for a savior. for him. the spiral- bound composition book fell, sticky notes of sweet poems flying. at that moment he realized he was losing what he'd had for only a few months and had tried so hard to attain.

i fell in love with you before i knew what your heartbeat sounded like i fell in love with you before i knew you liked percussion too i fell in love with you before i knew that fútbol, that game we used to play like we were pros, was actually soccer i loved you when you were in a coma for three days i loved you when you joined a band without me i loved you when you became our school's star forward and left me far, far behind

seek solace quiet solitude shiver cold in the frostbitten silence rejoice in your loneliness seek solace nobody to please nothing to think but thoughts of your own an overlooked miracle seek solace not negative neither unwanted, but an overlooked opportunity for freedom

i gave it my own definition it's thinking i'm only sixteen but i'm too old for you it's wishing i was thirteen so i could be with you it's living feeling unloved it's believing the only emotion i'll know is sadness it's hearing lies i think are the truth it's saying words you don't mean it's horrible it's not what i was meant for

it shines brightly in the skies through your eyes and through my heart [no, not yours you heart doesn't shine at all anymore] it shines softly from the corners maybe from your smile and maybe through my poetry [which you'll never read unfortunately for you] it shines it shines it shines for me

it's that twinkle in your eyes the spring in your step the smile on your face the butterflies in your stomach the fire in your soul it's the hurt in your gaze the ice in your voice the scars on your wrists the weight on your shoulders the hole in your heart i say it's lies that fire in your soul came from somewhere higher but that hole in your heart came from when you believed it wasn't there know it embrace it it's your's

i am Cesi i am different i am confident and outgoing fun and energetic spontaneous and unpredictable self-esteem has never killed me i am not shallow i am strong i know who i am what i am whose i am i am Christian of God His child i am artistic music is my life and poetry is my soul i am honest and real down to earth and true to myself i don't have to prove myself to anyone i am self-evident i am loving warm and friendly open and comforting i am tolerant i do not discriminate who am i to judge what is not mine? i am a happy person relaxed and calm things get me down but He is my strength now enough about me...